My Son the Pornographer was recently voted 5th most popular film (out of 197) at the 2009 Victoria Film Festival. Audiences gave the film an average rating of 4.75 out of 5.

Film Threat

With a setup that sounds like a sitcom, I wasn’t expecting “My Son the Pornographer” to be so damn real. Art Holbrook, a straight-laced filmmaker with middle-class conservative values from placid, tranquil Victoria BC, discovers that his stepson Kole Kerr, with whom he bonded while married to Kole’s mother (when Kole was a child), was abused as a youth (after Art left the family) and has become a punk-rock-haired, chain-smoking, bohemian porno maker based in Prague. Despite this — or perhaps because of it — Art seeks to reconnect with the young man he feels partly responsible for, and along the way discovers a whole host of dark issues that have shaped Kole quite differently than “how it was supposed to be.”

Director Peter Campbell acts as a true “fly on the wall” as the two men, who obviously and genuinely care for each other, struggle to put aside their differences and reconcile the past. Both have issues; Art feels badly for what happened to Kole after he left, Kole is not at all convinced that his experiences have been entirely bad for him, but can see a self-destructive side he doesn’t like.

Watching these two men grapple with feelings, psychology and their respective pasts makes for mesmerizing watching, particularly because neither one holds back anything from the ever-present camera. At the beginning, you get the impression that Art is out to “save” Kole, but over time each man learns more about the other, and attitudes on both sides start to melt.

Along the way, we get an unapologetic look inside the world of cheap European porn, an update on Kole’s colorful history, and lots of shots of beautiful Prague. The emotional honesty of the “square” dad and his “lost boy” son is remarkable, and the candor Kole brings to the documentary is at times almost uncomfortable, but serves to disallow the painting of either man into stereotypes — neither is victim, neither is rescuer. Despite all the soul-baring, you actually get a lot of laughs out of “My Son the Pornographer” — it’s considerably more light-hearted than you’d think, mostly arising from the friendly clash of disparate personalities and worldviews, and the rather clinical world of porn-making.

The moment 65-year-old Art — a respected Canadian documentary producer himself — agrees to a bit cameo in Kole’s “The Sexual Adventures of Little Red,” you know that the tables have not just turned, they’re spinning wildly in all directions.

The film could have been like going to therapy, given its setup, but instead it’s like watching your family get together over the holidays — some conflict, some awkwardness, but the love always shines through. If it weren’t for all the language and porno, it might even be called a great family picture.

While neither Kole nor Art finish the film completely resolved, the quiet discipline of director Campbell to be an invisible observer, the miracle of that strange bond we call “family” and both mens’ hope for a better tomorrow make this a really strong and intimately personal documentary that offers valuable lessons in what really matters in our relationships with our kith and kin.

by Charles Martin February 18, 2009; published in Film Threat

selected comments viewers left on this website

My Son the Pornographer was a surprisingly heart-warming documentary that profoundly exposed the complex relationship between father-son and a troubled past resurfaced. I really enjoyed experiencing a sliver of Prague through the life and experiences of Kole and found the dialogue between characters in the film to be very touching. There are many layers to this film and I highly recommend seeing it.

by Jocelyn Mandryk, September 26, 2008

All I can say really is WOW. Watching that brought me back in time about 20 years. I remember meeting your dad ;) Strangely makes me want to see you and give you a big hug.


by angela, November 23, 2008

hey from 2003 - 2006 my only job was working in porn . mostly in vancouver but a little in LA as well .. i was pretty honest with my father about this thinking he wouldn’t care since he has tons of porno mags around the house himself…my current longterm girlfriend is someone i met in the industry… behind my back my father constintly cuts me down talking to my sister about his issues with me and porn and my choice of a girlfriend and what not… i still dabble in porn even though it isn’t my only job at the moment … i fell that i have lost abit of my ability of expression and creativity since i am not making movies as much as b4 and feel that i need to find a way to get back into and persue my passions again… this summer while down in LA dabbling in some porn work my father had said some stuff regarding my choices and cut my girlfriend and me down .. this pissed me off so much that he still couldn’t accept at the verry least if not support the decisions i make as careere choices or artistic freedoms and also the relationships that i have taken away from these experiances that i felt hurt enough to not to talk to him sice july of 2008… even though i haven’t seen this film yet i can conect with the topic and issues that you percent .. i look foward to seeing this documentry.. ps not every one in the industry has sexual abuse storys and i do feel that this is a stereo type and a misconception.. but i dont condem you for taking his angle for characterization .. later

by corey bucks, January 17, 2009

Hey, Corey. It’s heartening to see that you can identify with this so closely, from my point of view…kind of an ‘I’m not in this alone’ reassurance. I hope that, eventually, you can work things out with your father. Just know that the problem isn’t with you, it’s with him…in this case. My opinions on the pros and cons of working in the industry are legion, and this isn’t the forum in which I should get into such detail, but things are what they are and I would think your father would be man enough to accept and adapt to that, or at least have a frank, open discussion about it.

But, really, I wanted to address your comment about the sexual abuse ‘angle’. Primarily, it’s not an angle. And this isn’t an expose(can’t be bothered to find the proper diacritics) into the world of porn. The focus of the film is the relationship between my father and myself. And, like it or not, sexual abuse is a part of my story (not at his hands, by the way). At no point do I presume to present myself as ‘the face of porn’, nor do I imply that my story is a template. It is what it is.
It’s true. Most of the people I worked with over the years, as far as I could glean, havent been scarred by anything so traumatic. By and large, they were just kinda dumb and wanted quick cash. I dont know what the American industry is like, but I’m guessing its pretty similar…
Having said that, porn is a pretty dark business, and it does draw people with sordid pasts. If they aren’t damaged when they get into it, they certainly are by the time they get out, if nothing other than being judged by their friends and families when they get ‘outed’. The negative stigma attached to porn is still pretty powerful, even in these ‘celebrity porn’ days.

Thanks for listening.

If you’re not having fun, it’s not worth doing.

by Kole, January 19, 2009

Just home from seeing MSTP at the Victoria Film Festival. I actually went to see the accompanying doc “The Red Jacket” but am very glad I stayed. Brilliantly sad and funny, a bit like life, really. Congratulations to all involved, especially Kole - your courage and obvious intelligence will take you far in whatever field you choose (or drift into - I have a son who has the same “6 month max in one place” philosophy, so I can identify). Glad to see it’s on CBC this week, I will be recommending it to a lot of people.

by Phil Cottrell, February 6, 2009

Phenomenal film. Kole and Art are truly brave to share their relationship with us, the audience. This is a beautiful documentary full of extraordinary moments. Thank you for allowing us to witness this part of your lives.

by Rebecca Dawson, February 6, 2009

This is a wonderful film. Kole, I admire your courage and your strength. You and Art put yourselves in a very vulnerable place and it is wonderful that you are both so willing to share that with others with such humour and honesty. I think you’re an amazing guy and believe that you will be successful no matter what you do.

All the best to you, Kole,
and thank you for sharing your story.

by Pippa, February 6, 2009

Dear Art

What a wonderful night at the movies that was!! We experienced the most moving and generous movie experience of many years, for me. It was good theatre; good filming; very moving, both Linda and I cried, very funny. All in all it got two big fives from both of us.

What was Monday thinking of?

And, bravo to Michael Reid for setting us straight, as it were.

And well done, Kole. Don’t think about (forget, gay, etc. just think about me.) What a journey in human experience.

Needless to say, I’m over the top.

Love and big hugs,

by Barbara, February 7, 2009

Dear Kole,

If long, loud and sustained applause is an indicator, things went very well last night at the Victoria Film Festival. I was especially moved by two women who came up afterwards. One came up to give me a hug (you’ll understand the importance of that when you see the film) even as she revealed the abuse she had sustained. Another came up to compliment me, breaking into tears as she did and as she revealed how much the documentary meant to her because she, too, had been abused. It was clear the film touched them, and others, deeply.

There was lots of laughter and you could hear the proverbial pin drop during the emotional scenes. People really got it.

I’m sorry you weren’t here. I think you would have gotten a standing ovation for what you offered to the film - you life, your vulnerability, your perceptions. I was very proud of what you did.

Love, Dad

by Art, February 7, 2009

How does a bird find a worm? Does it not feel the vibration? If we are vibrating, how do we absolve ourselves? If I were to be consumed by a bird, how would I survive? Once consumed, what are my options? Would I point to the bird or point to myself? I am being reguritated to feed the babies. Would it not mean that I have a responsibility to metaphosisize into something other than food. If I were food, I can see how I would feed the children. But what authority do I have on this? Children have more authority on love than I do. So what is my responsibility? In this film, I see that that the child has more authority than the father. What is Art’s responsibility? He has a child that is showing him the way, the child has consumed the responsibility of being abused. That is beautiful to me, it is absolved of guilt and justice. (The predator has his own story that he must wrestle with - no one can make that happen for him. Being called out will not change the predator’s process - we have to know that). So how do I call myself out? I know I am predator of pain. I know I am capable of afflicting pain on others (not physically, but mentally). “Keep moving - dont get bored”, is a process of pain on others, as well as myself. So, if I were to expose myself on the surface of the earth to be consumed and regurated - where is my control? Art, your awkwardness is beautiful to me. Your control is out of your realm - but how do you move now? Your answer is to feed your child, for it is your only control. But there has be other options. If pain is deep, love is deep. If pain is deeper, love is deeper. How do we manage this relationship?

by janice, February 7, 2009

As Art’s sister and Kole’s aunt, I have two observations:
1. Art is characterized as coming from a conservative home and I don’t think that is accurate. The reviewer mentions our father was a New England Puritan, which he was indeed by heritage (he was not a “priest”), but he was not “judgmental” in the ways that are suggested by the review, especially around sexual issues. Art’s family (i.e., mine) is quite liberal, well-educated, and openminded on most issues in a “live and let live” sort of way. Where we get rattled is around issues of injury to self and others. I haven’t seen the whole film yet and look forward to seeing how these things are addressed.
2. In the teaser, Kole suggests that Art abandoned him for 15 years and only came back to him to do a video. That seems a little unfair. While Art is obviously wrenched by not knowing of Kole’s abuse, he has always loved Kole and tried to stay connected to him to the extent possible after the relationship with Kole’s mother ended. It is no wonder that Art did not know quite what to say at that point.

by An aunt's comment, February 7, 2009

Hey, auntie (I presume you prefer to remain nameless) The abandonment comment was a playful jab, and was not an attack at all (hence the laughter).
Dad is my dad, and has been since I first called him dad, as far as I’m concerned. I get the feeling that what you’re not saying is that he has no responsibility for me, and I understand that, and agree with that. And, for that, I am forever grateful to him. He has been the only shining light in many of my darker moments, much to the chagrin of his wife, I’m sure, who had to endure my late night collect phone calls.
I have a lot of nasty things to say about a lot of people, but I could never imagine me saying anything bad about my dad.
As an extension to that, I appreciate your family for helping to make my dad into who he is. And weird or not, I consider you my family. Its just what I know.
I hope you don’t think I resent him or attempted to show him in a bad light, because that was surely not my intention.
I love my dad.

by kole, February 7, 2009

Hey kole

Great movie, i saw it last night and it was amazing. It really touched me deep down. I hope you find your path in life, and i wish you the best.


P.S.: JC Sonogod, nice.

by Anon, February 7, 2009

Dear Deb, (there, you are outed by name! :-)) I agree with you on much of what you said. Well educated, liberal in political views, etc. But I don’t agree about the judgmental part regarding our father, at least regarding sex. I don’t propose to debate this in a public forum but, at least in that regard, your experience of our father was different from mine.

Love, Art

by Art, February 8, 2009

Peter - thank you for this creative, sensitive masterpiece

Art - thank you for the depth, honesty and vulnerability - keep hugging - it’s very good for all involved.

Kole - thank you for your bravery, honesty, humour and raw sensitivity. You are a superstar. Telling this story is very healing for so many people. I too am a survivor of sexual abuse. I filed the police report and there were many unexpected gifts from that action. Firstly, my perpetrator was stopped in his tracks. Secondly, so many other people then felt safe to come forward and tell their stories - even other victims of my abuser. Finally, it was great to get it off my chest and “file” it with the authorities. I did a 1.5 hr video statement - much easier than writing the story.

Pornography was used in my abuse and because of that, I was very nervous about seeing this film. In the end, it was incredibly healing for me. Kole, you are very lucky to have Art as a parent. Perhaps he could have done some things differently, but he loves you and he owns his own responsiblity for not protecting you. That alone, must feel good. Thank you again for sharing. Many, many blessings and keep hugging Art!

by Kathryn Molloy, February 8, 2009

Hey great film guys. Very inspirational and real.

I have a question, are you of punjabi heritage. I saw you were wearing a kara in the film (steel braclet used as symbolism of strength and a reminder to do good worn by Sikhs). I also noticed your sister’s name is Manjit.

Hope you all the best!

by Canadian, February 10, 2009

I just saw the movie and was glad I decided to tune in to The Lens.
Your stories are a credit to the human spirit. Kole’s resilience is admirable and Art’s love for his son is deeply touching
I was drawn to this film because I admired Art’s quest, through this documentary, to help Kole deal with his past.
But in the end, I thought it was really compelling that Kole ended up helping Art just as much. (Case in point: hugging!)

Much love, luck and happiness to you both!

by Moops, February 11, 2009

I just watched this movie/documentary on CBC tonight and all I have to say about it is that I think it was amazing and very touching. I think we can all understand and relate to Kole and Art’s experience…every one of us will always want to seek acceptance and love from someone in this world who really cares and not be alone. The way the story was told just really reached out to me and touched me and I think you guys did an awesome job, so kudos to you all. Kole, I’m really glad that you found your happy ending to the crappy chapter of you life. And I give my best and sincerest wishes to you two, and I hope things are still working out and getting even better.

PS: If there any way that this movie/documentary is available anywhere else? Like downloads, re-airs, can be bought, etc. Cause it would be nice to watch a heart-warming thing like this or show it to others from time to time.

by Ivan, February 11, 2009

I have been crying for the past hour as I watched “My Son the Pornographer”. Why? Because this story parallels my own history in many ways. I am an adult Victim/Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse myself, I am a filmaker and I too have had a very difficult time with life. My story began 40 years ago but I did not tell my family until 9 years ago as I was too burdened by guilt and shame. It was only after hitting rock bottom in my life that I realized I had to seek help or it was going to kill me long before my time. I sought help by way of counselling, psychotherapy and a lot of reading. I cried so much because Kole has the help and support of Art, his (step) father but by the time I had told my father he was too old to deal with it and has since passed away. This abuser stole my life and relationship with my father for most of my life and only in the final years were we able to have some understanding and for him to get some perspective on why my behavior when I was young was very destructive. I struggle still on a daily basis to find happiness within and actually in the past 3 days was once again contemplating ending my life. I once again decided against this as that would let my abuser off the hook and I have many things to be thankful for and to live for. In my case my counsellors urged me to go after my abuser through the courts, which I began the process of doing 18 months ago. For me this is something I have to do both to be cathartic for me and also to bring this predator to justice. It has always been an additional source of guilt for me that I may not have been the only one and there may still be current and new victims of this pedofile. The astonishing statistics that I discovered in my own research was that if there was one victim of a pedofile, there can be as many as over 800!! It has taken me a very long time, a lot of soul searching and courage to go to the police and tell my story. My abuser was very well known to myself and my family and has no where to hide, he is still alive, well off and I found his house myself. His day is at hand and he is going to be arrested very soon according to the detectives, on a Friday night so he can get a taste of jail over a weekend as a pedofile before he can use his money to get bail. I understand Kole’s pain and his self loathing that he carries, I carry it myself. The movie “Good Will Hunting” for me broke the dam so to speak when I watched the scene where the victim was told “It wasn’t your fault”. For me that was a watershed in my thinking and my beginning of the healing process which I still struggle with daily. I am a proud father and very protective of my own child but realise I cannot be there all the time. Thank goodness she has made it to young womanhood without any trauma. I also understand Art’s perspective and his own guilt about not being able to protect his son, as parents we cannot be with our children all of the time to protect them from these sick and twisted predators. I applaud Art’s efforts to save his son and to help him find help and happiness in his life. This is also my struggle. One of my counsellors a few years ago told me that I should be in the lineup as the Mayor of Toronto annually hands out medals to citizens for acts of bravery just because I am still alive, that made me cry too. I am not a criminal or a drug abuse or alchohol victim although I have struggled with both in my lifetime and I am not an abuser. I am still here and so is Kole. I wish him, Art, their family and all victims of childhood abuse all the best in their search for happiness. Thank you for this film Art, I hope I get to see the next film you produce (with the help of your son), I wish I had had the chance to do the same with my own father.

by Edward, February 11, 2009

Where to start…

Firstly, above all, Kole, heal yourself. This is your life challenge, until this is overcome, you will never be truly free, truly Kole. This abuse was not your fault, and not your Dad’s fault. You have specific questions like “why did I go back” that need to be worked through over time. The question implies that you are guilty to some degree…which logically you know is not true, but emotionally must be resolved.

Everyone else, love and accept Kole. He has been abused, and needs to know that his friends and family love him, unconditionally. Accept him. He is not his industry. Do not put your perceptions of the porn industry ahead of helping Kole heal. If you do that, shame on you.

Our society puts WAY too much emphasis and judgment on what someone does, rather than taking the time to learn who someone is. Its a bit of a human brain limitation, because the brain likes to put things into categories and make associations to quickly file information. Kole is a son. Kole is a brother. Far ahead of whichever industry Kole works in.

I work in the porn industry as well. You’d be surprised how many people make money from the porn industry. Google makes a fortune. Yahoo too. Toshiba, HP, Sony. I bet your mutual funds hold stocks of companies that financially benefit from the porn industry. So that means you make money from the porn industry too. And that’s ok. You may even enjoy watching porn. Many people do. That’s ok too.

From my 8 years experience with the porn industry I am keenly aware that the stickiness/attraction of the industry is not about the porn. Its about the challenges, the adrenaline of dynamic business, and about the good financial rewards. I have a commerce degree and have worked in many industries. The porn industry is by far the most rewarding I have worked in both financially as well as to develop my business skills.

Also, I do not feel that the industry degrades women. On the contrary, I believe it removes females’ sexual power within a relationship, and ultimately makes men choose female mates for loftier characteristics beyond their appearance…after all men can see “hot” women on the internet 24/7…its boring now…women need to be more attractive in a less obvious way now (ie, funny, fun, witty, intelligent, etc.)

Ultimately I believe in our justice system. I am not a judge. I have seen many judges, and I can assure you that they are exceptionally bright people. I fully respect the laws of Canada. Simply put, adult entertainment is legal. That tells me that the majority of people in our society are ok with porn…even if they won’t say so, because it is/was taboo.

If porn can help make millions of people happy, and it is produced legally (that goes without saying) then I think overall humanity is better off. If it becomes an addiction then sure it has the potential to wreck lives. So does Aspartame. Moderation is key to life.

Ultimately Kole, work where your heart is, because that is where you will have the most success, personally and financially. If its in the porn industry, work in the porn industry. And know that many people change careers several times. So if one day your heart is no longer in the porn industry then switch to another industry. But don’t switch because people have a problem with you working in the porn industry. Switch when/if you’re done with the porn industry.

Nobody is the industry they work in. When you die, the industry will move on just fine without you. But you are the only you. When you die, you are gone forever. Heal yourself Kole, and don’t take any shit from anyone.

Porn is also great at reducing sex as a marketing carrot in mainstream advertising.

by Trevor Gillies, February 11, 2009

While watching this documentary last night I was moved by the openness shared between Kohl and Art. Parental relationships are not always so open and as a step-child myself, that world too can be a challenge.
Thank you for sharing a very personal side to the struggle in you both for mutual love, respect and family.

by Belinda Cobb, February 11, 2009

Thank you for this movie filled with honesty. I seems that Kole you are a great artist who hasn’t found the right media to express yourself with all the colours you have in you. I hope you can see life for what it can be and not only for what it has been and find a way to make some sense of this crazy and unfair world. Experience it all, but maybe not with your hair, peircings or porn so much any more (but that might be the mom in me talking ;)
Take care, may the strengh be with you.

by Jeraldine, February 11, 2009

Kole, all I have to say is amazing. When we met on the bus you really opened my eyes to a lot of things. When we were talking you made me realize I wasn’t living my life and for that I thank you.
Every since you told me about this docu I have been looking on CBC every day to see if it was on.
Watching this was extreamly touching and it was good to see your face ;)
You are amazing and I knew that the day I met you on the bus:)

I hope you are well.

All the best!

by Shirlee, February 11, 2009

Having sons of my own and seeing the journey taken by you and your father… I can only hope that I might have that same bond with my sons that you and your father have come to know. The bravery of you both to live, seek peace and challenge the unfairness that life can dole out to the unsuspecting; is admirable. May you both reach a point in your paths that offer times of solitude and reward. Your story is real, biting and inspirational.

by Tim, May 26, 2009

Kole and Art,

I watched this on CBC the other night and I cannot express how much the film touched me.

Kole - you are incredibly brave, intelligent, and… funny!

Art - I am in awe of your generosity, kindness, and compassion.

You are both amazing people who are lucky to have each other. Treasure one another.

by Samantha, May 29, 2009

Well I’ll be damned… Geez Kole, when we formed “Stolen Youth” back in high school, you weren’t kidding… It takes some serious balls to expose yourself and your demons to the world - good for you. From the reviews I have read, it sounds like you and your father have done something pretty special.

I just wish CBC would air this again so that I could see more than the trailer and a short synopsis.

by Matt, September 22, 2009

I am in Australia and just watched your doco, thank you. I work in a sexual assualt service for women with developmental disabilites and I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself. I work in an industry designed to help women who have experienced sexual assualt; either historically or recently. But there are so few services for men… and part of that is because men don’t disclose.

You speaking out so bravely, so honestly is fantastic. Not only for your own healing, but for other men, who may see someone who they can identify with and maybe they might reach out or tell someone about their experiences (and begin to heal). I appluad you and Art.

One way I have managed my pain (I saw in your eyes a reflection of my own pain at times) is with art and journaling, but I think you are much braver - it is much easier for me behind an abstract image or quip.

Hoping you find peace in your heart…

by TJ Linds, October 29, 2009

Thank you so much for making this film. It frankly discusses an issue that is still discussed in hushed tones, rarely treated in feature film and only covered in news articles and sensationalist talk shows. Kole’s situation and his life are addressed with dignity and openmindedness. I am a 45-year old female “survivor” of sexual abuse by my mother’s boyfriend and even though I feel I have dealt with my anger, it is still even now coming up in my life, so it is really wonderful to see someone like me projected on the screen. (No, I am not a pornographer, I am a lesbian and a computer nerd. I don’t have a punk hairdo, but I still can relate; there are other ways of being a rebel.) I really appreciate the risks everyone took in making this film.

by hermi, November 12, 2009

I am awestruck at the impact of your documentary. The realistic, bumbling, and desparate efforts by this father are immensely relatable, and for any person over 55, who is consciously, or unconsiously wanting to own and act on what they know or think they know - it is a resonating bell of truth and pain. Kudos

by Lillian Klassen, June 14, 2010

Great documentary, very touching

by Susana Nakatani, March 18, 2011

I just saw this film and am deeply touched. “Touch” seems to be the operative word here too. Touch can hurt, and touch can heal. I am heartened by both these men’s attempts to get close to one another, to regain connection. I was surprised, that despite Kole’s obvious dam of held-back emotion, he had less trouble than his father in reaching out and touching the other. Art’s head gets in the way of his heart, but his motives are pure, and he just needs to keep on hugging his way out of that intellectual comfort zone. Our strength lies in our vulnerability. By keeping feelings inside we hurt yourself the most. When we let out the tears, we are no longer a prisoner of our emotions, our past, our upbringing, our trauma. I hope that since this film was made that Kole and Art are continuing to deepen their connection, experiencing joy, fulfillment, and healing.

by Carolyn, May 17, 2011


Im also touched by this movie, but something else made me look for this websight…. Have never seen a guy more good looking! Your simply beautiful enough to make a swedish woman write to you in the middle of the night. ;) Basicly honest and something I felt the need to let out of my heart.

Its strange that you needed to go throgh that bad shit so I could see à glimpse of you. I really hope you keep looking for chalenges in à good way and that handeling this will smallsize your emptyness.

Im fascineted that youre “man enough” to deal with this in à documentary, its attractive to me. I especially liked the end - dont stop, dont think about the tape-time, dont worry about people thinking youre gay - just stat in this hug and let go of other things! To hug can be both easy and lovely and also scary and to “naked”, i think.

Keep it up, you deserve to feel great in every way!

by A, July 21, 2011

selected comments viewers left on CBC website

This was quite interesting. A very gripping documentary, it covered alot in an hour.

by Jesse Reid, February 10, 2009

This was a well crafted documentary with a compelling story and subject. I would love to know what father and son think of the film...

by sg, February 10, 2009

What an amazing family! This documentary was so moving. Kole is obviously a very articulate person, highly intelligent and brave. Art is an equally impressive, loving person. I watched the story unfold with my daughter who is 18 and she too was very touched by the story and struck by the lasting harm that can be done to children. We are hopeful that they and the rest of the family can make peace with past and enjoy the future.
Our best wishes to all of them.

by Shereen Miller, February 10, 2009

Your "Dad", no matter how flawed at being open, seems to have your best interest at heart and could provide a lesson to many biological father's that need to step up and be there for their "children", whether grown-up or still growing.

You did what it took to get through your life to this point as best you could and let no one find fault in that. You survived.

I sincerely wish you the best and hope you have the chance in the future to not only survive, but thrive!

Best of Luck!!!!

by Chris, February 10, 2009

I just watched the documentary and I was very impressed by the intelligence of Kole. He is portrayed at first as very angry, true. However, the scene where he teaches his father how to hug for the sake of it is wonderful. I liked the mohawk (and I'm a father of a 27 year old). His invitation for his father to cut it was symbolic and an extremely brave and vulnerable thing for him to do.

by Hugh Doherty, February 10, 2009

Kole! You have much to be proud of - you've come a long way, and your way has NOT been easy. Even though it may be a slow and gradual journey, IT CAN BE DONE. Your story disseminated through the media has undoubtedly touched many lives, especially of other people of courage who have survived sexual abuse. You are inspirational - just because it is a tremendous challenge, it doesn't mean that you can't overcome your pain.

All of the pain and anger you have can be directed to constructive behaviours - like creating artsy films or something else that satisfies your artistic, dark, and profoundly deep nature.

Art - your sincere work at rebuilding your relationships with your stepchildren are very noble. A lot of deadbeat dads out there make it really nasty for the rest of the loving and compassionate dads. Your attempts haven't been in vain - you were on CBC! Thank you for being a male role model for your stepchildren, the world needs more individuals and men of such substance.

by Daniela, February 10, 2009

kole... I'm moved and intregued, our lives run parallel. It seems all to often I hear of stories like ours... I've grown from my experience. Why does soceity deem too men hugging as being "gay" ? Soceity should realize that there is nothing wrong with men showing affection. I've been brain-washed with sterotypes from past generations who deem the act of men hugging as taboo. It's not how I want to live my life. I'm in touch and secure with who I am and if I want to hug a friend just because... then so be it! Thank you for sharing.

by Cody, February 10, 2009

we all deal with things differently change and growth comes from having friends or family stand with us while we go through it great show wish i cought it all

by big-bear, February 10, 2009

It touched me to watch this documentary. I am a survivor of 32 foster placements in Nova Scotia., now living on the West Coast. Even after 43 years since the time I was a child in care, the issues that Kole faces are issues that I have dealt with or am still dealing with.

It touched something in me listening to Art tell his son how he'd not been raised with a fathers love and wasn't demonstrative with his giving of himself, emotionally. Kole is very aware of his fathers dead-pan, unemotional side. I am like that and am sometimes disconeced or unemotional in my getting close to intimacy especially.

Kole has used sex, drugs and distancing himself to survive his emotional demons. My experiences while in care have led me down many of the same paths as he is on now. At 52, I've dealt with many of my issues and 'demons'. I do still struggle and i suppose I always will. I am able to accept that and live my life as fully as possible...allowing myself to have a few social short-comings.

It also touched something in me listening to Kole struggle with the idea of going back to face his abuser. I was also abused...sexually, physically, emotionally, name it! i am a gay man and I have been diagnosed with HIV 22 years ago. My lifestyle of promiscuity and longing to find love led me to unhealthy sex practices and...the rest is history! I know Art through his Volunteer work with PWA'S in Victoria. i am a client with both ASO's in victoria.

In so many ways, I was Kole. My anger may not have been as strong and I wasn't as willing to go to such great lengths to avoid my emotions. My saving grace was my promiscuity...but it was also my was also my 'wake-up call'...

Today, i am married to a man that was also a relinquished child. He is an Adoptee. We are in our 20th year together. Until I met him, i didn't know love with out any sexual expectation... like the love of a family. My life is complete because of our loving relationship.

Thanks for your documentary! It made me stop and realize how far I've come!! I get lost in the memories often, feeling like I'm still there... I really have grown 52!

Again, thanks

by Joshua D. Gavel, February 10, 2009


This was the most beutiful documentary I have seen! between a father and son
I have never seen such brave spirit!!
Thank you for sharing such an important piece!!


by Jean, February 11, 2009

I enjoyed this documentary. It was very open, honest and it felt raw. My concern is for other young boys who were or still are being assaulted by the man who abused Kole. I'd like him to continue to pursue the case. If not for him then for others.

Kole seems like a very caring person. I think it would be good for him to look beyond his own issues and think about other people.I feel bad for the women he's ever been involved with - he has a twisted attitude. Counseling could probably help him work thru a lot of it.

I was happy to hear Kole has given up porn - for now. He's obviously very talented and hopefully he will make other documentaries with his father. He's lucky to have him in his life. I'm glad to hear he reconnected with his sister and her family.

by Shelloise, February 11, 2009

Great story. I like how both the father and son redeemed each other.

by Mike, February 11, 2009

To the father: just love your him you accept him. keep up the work with your son he needs you and loves you. it is not your fault that your son was abused. you are a good man and a good father.

To the sister: do not put your perception of the porn industry in the way of your relationship with your brother...what someone does for money is not who someone is. be a better sister.

To the son: people outside of the porn industry do not understand that porn is such a minor portion of the industry...there are real challenges that require talent to overcome...the industry offers you a way to develop and express your talents. your father loves you and is from another generation that is sexually and emotionally repressed. follow your heart, if you enjoy your work, do it, and do it well. you are a good man and a good son.

Bryan Schindler, February 11, 2009

I found this film quite moving and enlightening.
I noticed that Kole at first was interested in pursuing his abuser but soon dropped his interest
Was this because the police advised him of the slim chances of prosecution on these charges in this particular situation?

by Morley Minuk, February 11, 2009

Great Documentary. Kole and Art should be commended not only for their bravery in confronting their own personal issues, but for publicly sharing their issues and their vulnerabilities. This touching documentary will surely help others with their personal issues and struggles. Kole's reluctance to seek professional help (ie therapy) however, should serve as a warning to others (faced with similar pain) that they need not suffer the pain in silence. Help is available and healing is possible. I send my sincere gratitude and hugs to Art and Kole and the makers of this great documentary.
Robert Freedland
The Organization for the Prevention of Child Abuse and Domestic Violence.
Toronto, Canada

Robert Freedland, February 11, 2009

To pick up on Cody's comment. I think that Kole's comments at the end about having his father hug him just to be aware of him in that moment, was the essence of the story for me. I'd like to use those words in future to remind people how important it is to engage and connect with the ones you love in that way. Who knows how Kole's or Art's life might have been different if they had connections like that earlier in life.

by Mike, February 11, 2009

I am deeply touched by the generous comments and very pleased that our documentary has struck a chord with so many of you.

In answer to the question about Kole not pursuing the pedophile, no, the police were willing and the private detective, to her credit, was willing to pursue the case for free. Kole felt uneasy about it and his reticence stopped the police investigation. Sadly, they have way too many cases on their books in which the complainant is willing to go forward.

This film was, as you can imagine, a tough one to do. I've had misgivings throughout (not to mention some embarrassment about things like my inability to hug properly) but it seems to be paying off in Kole's life. I'm thrilled with some of the things that he has been saying lately about finding a direction into the future.

by Art Holbrook, February 11, 2009

I think it was pretty brave of Kole to speak out loud about his abuse. At the age of 47 I have never been able to do that. I deal with a lot of shame because of it.

The way I see it is that Art is obviously a good person, document or no document.

I hope that the document/talking out loud helps you on your road to healling. You are not alone.

by Joan, February 12, 2009

Good documentary.

At first, I must admit I was feeling uneasy about even watching it, but as I started watching it, I felt it became more and more interesting, as I have people around me that reminded me of Kole and what he/they are/were going through.

Both Art and Kole were very charismatic, which made the doc even better.

I wish Kole all the best and hope that he finds a way to be happy and I hope he pursues photography. Being 24 and having a photography passion myself, I hope he can discover and explore other dimensions of photography. He's explored and known one dimension (porn), but there are so many other things that he could do with his photo talent, and maybe if he broadens/opens his mind, he may find something that will eventually make him even happier than porn did.

I wish Art all the best as well and that he can continue to love and support Kole as best he can, without judging him.

by Ari, March 2, 2009

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